Please Don’t Touch The Baby

He *is* adorably soft

My friend Anne over at The Belle Jar Blog (seriously, go check her out, she’s a funny intelligent mom who can write like a super hero) mentioned a question she gets asked quite a bit.  “Is he a good baby?”  I agree with her that this frequent question is bizarre and rather stupid.  What’s a bad baby?  Do you catch them in the playgroup bathroom smoking up?  Do they frequently steal pedal cars and drag race around the playground?  Do they hunt helpless stuffed animals in the middle of the night?  I can just picture the little babies running around all dressed in leather jackets and blue or pink headbands with cigarette shaped soothers and fake guns in their diapers.  Bad babies.  Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

Seriously though, I do get asked that question often and though horribly sarcastic responses run through my mind I usually answer kindly “Oh yes, he’s the best.  Good baby.”

Babybean is a cutie pie.  I’m biased but strangers tell me all the time how adorable he is so it must be true.  He’s also very alert for his age and is often on my shoulder looking around at all the things.  This has presented me with an unusual knack for attracting (mostly) unwanted attention when we are out.  People are constantly coming up and cooing in Bean’s face trying to get him to smile.  Personable child that he is he usually does.  This is where I get weird about things.

See…I’d rather people NOT TOUCH THE BABY.  Really.  How do I know where your hands have been?  If Bean was 3 years old would it be alright for a stranger to walk up to him, get him to smile, then start rubbing his feet?  I think not.  So why WHY is it alright to do it to a baby?

I’m looking at you Grandma

The one time I asked someone to not touch the baby they got all huffy.  So now I just hold him away from people and maneuver the way we are standing so they can’t reach the baby in the first place.  Has anyone else experienced this?  Am I just freaking out over nothing – really, I do worry about germs and allergens and skin irritants.  It gets me so anxious that when people come up to me now my first reaction is to grimace and back away slowly.

Hopefully this will lessen as he gets older and isn’t so “OMG NEWBORN BABY” cute.

In other news I’m working on non baby posts.  These just require more time than I can get on the computer and Babybean willing will someday finish and post.  Until then thanks for putting up with baby fever.  🙂

 

 

These Are a Few of His Favorite Things

I don’t have much time tonight but in the interest of not letting this blog rot again I’m going to do a quick post before Babybean wakes up and demands to feed.  Speaking of breastfeeding did I ever mention that when Bean was a squishy faced little newborn attached to my breast he resembled someone.

Awwww…2 days old and already captain of a starship.

He looks like Patrick Stewart, I often thought.  No, seriously.  I don’t know if it was the angle or his hairline or his wrinkly forehead or a combo of all three but my newborn baby often reminded me of Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek TNG.  I sometimes wondered if he was going to point at my nipple and say “Make it so.”

Anyways, I got distracted there.  Now that Bean is 3 months old he’s showing favoritism for things in his world.  Other than my bosom I mean.  So here it is, a top 10 list of Bean’s favorite things.

1.  Throwing up down Father’s back.  One time he even managed to get baby puke down both Father’s shirt that he was wearing AND the shirt on the chair behind them.  For some reason I seem pretty immune to the curdled shoulder shower.

2.  Baths.  At first he hated them but then we discovered the secret to peaceful baby baths.  Take the bath with them!  Fill the tub, hop on in, have your significant other pass you the baby and voila!  Make sure to always sing a rousing rendition of Ernie’s “Rubber Ducky” as well.  This will also help with cleaning up the mess from favorite thing #1.

3.  This toy.

I found it for sale in the soon-to-be defunct Zellers and showed it to him.  He smiled REALLY wide and didn’t stop laughing at the thing for at least an hour.  It had to be his.  In fact he loves it so much I’m thinking of buying up their stock so we always have one.

4.  This book.

Admittedly I bought it because it involved cupcakes and had an adorable pumpkin inside.  Turns out the kawaii cartoons are just Bean’s style and he loves the words.  Plus I get to pretend to eat him up at the end.

5.  Ghost Hunters.  You know that show where a couple plumbers hunt for ghosts in America’s weirdest places?  I do and I love them.  I own all the seasons.  Turns out the black and white IR camera recording style is ROCKIN for keeping babies entertained.  Who knew?  Or maybe he can see all the ghosts cause he’s a paranormal kid.  He does make an OOoooOOooo sound a lot.

Mooooom it’s moving again!

6.  The dog.  Well, perhaps love is the wrong word as she tends to lick him in the inner thighs and tickle him with her whiskers.  Sometimes he loves it other times he doesn’t.  However he thought it was great fun when she gave him a headlicking while I was in the bathroom and couldn’t do anything about it.  His own doggie hairdresser.  Too bad he’s pretty much bald.

7.  Father’s workplace.  It’s a home decor store and full of shiny and colorful things for him to look at.  It is also full of co-worker women who love to love Bean and give him mucho attention.

It’s just a lamp. It doesn’t have feelings.

8.  Lamps.  On or off.  Since we brought this child home he has had a fascination with lamps.  Tall lamps, small lamps it doesn’t matter.  They are a source of amusement and talkings at.

9.  Fingers.  That’s right, give my child the finger and he will shut up.

No fire until you’re 18 young man.

10.  Music.  He’s pretty attentive to sights AND sounds so he seems to enjoy music.  So far his favorites are “We Are Young” by Fun,  “Fly Me To The Moon” sung by me and “Come What May” sung by me.  🙂

Babybean you amaze me every day.  I can’t wait to discover more of your favorite things.  Other moms please leave me a comment and let me know what are YOUR child’s favorite things?